We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
