He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
And then my night got REAL pukey
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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