What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
