I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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