Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There's always time for handjobs
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
