just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
