My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
