Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
