what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
