This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
