im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
