found the other keg... it's in the tree
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize