so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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