I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just tell him i said nine months
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
