you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
