Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
