What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
