Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
