just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
