Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
