I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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