I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
