I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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