bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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