Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
