i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
