I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
