Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
