I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
