I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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