if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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