It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
we should paint friendship bongs
And then he peed in my hair
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