I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
