omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We got so high we made milksteak
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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