we're blogging at a bar
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
