well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
