do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize