And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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