Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
