I cannot find my penis.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize