Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
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I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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