this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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