How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Floor bacon is actually really good
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
