we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Floor bacon is actually really good
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
