A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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