Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think I sprained my soul last night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
