Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
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