Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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