Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
