i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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