I wish I only lived at night.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
