Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
