dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
