good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
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