Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
