Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
This is the high leading the old right now
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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