I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
