I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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