i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my shit smells like andre
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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