mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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