she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
