I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
