He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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