The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
