whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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